Smile and Be Happy

I have neglected the little ol blog here once again.  Seems like anytime I have free to sit and write I am busy doing things like laundry, dishes, blah blah blah.  I am really trying to motivate myself to focus more on myself these days though.  And not just myself, but time with J.R. and Sofia and family and friends.  That is what life is really about.  Enjoying time and creating memories so we have been doing a lot of that lately, and you know what....it feels pretty good!

Last week some very dear friends who used to live across the street from us, but have recently moved to Nashville, called me and said "hey what's up?  we are coming through town and want to stop for like 20 minutes and visit."  I was all like OK! and ready to see them for the short time I could.  As soon as they pulled up they jumped out of the car and yelled I had 25 minutes to throw Sofia and myself some decent clothes on and get in the car and drive to Chattanooga with them for the day.  I was completely taken aback and speechless because lets just say I'm not a spur of the moment type of gal.  I plan and decide and redo and repack and, well, you get the point.  And those of you who know me know that I am NOT spontaneous at all.  This was wonderful though and I did it and loved it and we had the best time!  Best of all was seeing Sofia and her friend Bentley so happy to be going on a roadtrip together.  If she's happy then I'm REALLY happy!

Fun things and things that make us happy.  That's what I'm going for.  I am easy to get down on myself.  Not a good enough Mama, wife, friend.  You know, right?  Don't we all feel that way now and then?  And just why do we put such pressure on ourselves???  Like we can never be good enough.  And most of the time when I have a bad day and feel like Sofia needs to be given a new Mommy, I get so down on myself it can be hard to get back up.  

When I pray and ask God what I need to do to be better the answer becomes pretty clear.  Nothing.  Yes, I can work on some things but I will never be the perfect wife or mother or friend or sister.  It's just something I could strive for forever and never be perfect.  I have to tell myself that over and over.  

What does make me smile though are moments and days like when my friends showed up and made me get out of my comfort zone.  Or when I spend a day doing silly things with Sofia and seeing her happy too.

Days like this :)  

Yep, it's hard sometimes but most of the time when I stop and think, I hear God saying, "Come on girl. You are so blessed and I have got this under control.  You are doing what you have always wanted to do and you are loved and taken care of.  It will be ok.  Now go put on a silly wig!!!"

Ok, maybe He didn't tell me to put on a wig, but He did want Sofia to enjoy one!

It is wonderful.  Life.  We stay busy and feel loved and I need to stop worrying and thinking things always need to be better or perfect.  Things are pretty good just the way they are.

Happy Monday and hope you all have a wonderful week!  It's FALL Ya'll!!!

Finally A Post! Beach Trip!!!

Oh. My. Gracious.  I am finally posting a tiny (and I mean short and tiny) blog post!  For whatever reason, my computer acts really weird when I try to post pictures on the blog and it literally makes me a person I don't like...at all.  So that's why I haven't been posting.  But I finally made it through downloading a few of MANY beach pictures from our trip a couple of weeks ago and when I got to the point where I was gonna hurt the computer and say words I shouldn't say, well, then I stopped.  Anyway, here is a sample of Sofia at the beach!

She loved it this year and would finally touch the sand!  We did not want to leave and want to live there forever and ever.  Amen!  :)

Enjoy!  Oh, and guess who turns 2 YEARS OLD on Wednesday??????  Our little bud is growing!  Love her to pieces!!!!

sweet moment with my mama and myself holding her hands

she had to stop for a pose!

my mama and daddy and sofia.  love them!

my little family of three

topless beach for three and under!

enjoying a concert on daddy's knees

Goodbye to the beach for now!  We will miss you but we will return!!!

I Have a Problem with Change...

When I started this blog it had one main purpose and that was to capture moments in my girl's life as she grows for her to look back on and read in story.  Photos captured and memories in type so as not to forget anything.  But, as usual, I am not very good with keeping up with every little thing that happens and before I know it the days, heck even months, have moved on and I haven't written another thing.  I wish I was better at this but most days are over and done and then I am simply too exhausted to sit and type and think about what I have to say.  So, this is why I am not very good at keeping a record of all that happens, and that leads me to reason number two I started the blog.  For family and friends to keep up with our little angel as she grows.  Well, go back to my previous explanation and there you have it.

These days though I have other reasons to add to the list of said blog.  I know that other Mama's read it even though few ever comment, and that being said, it is kind of a way for me to connect and vent about the tough days.  I don't want to dwell on these days but they do happen and we all have them and we all need the prayers and support of others.  It is why we have each other here on this Earth.

My latest struggle has been facing the fact that I will soon stop breastfeeding Sofia.  When I was pregnant all I wanted to do was to be able to make it to one year!  The first few months were very much a struggle, and not for the reasons you probably think, but I don't need to go into detail.  Let's just say that I know a few reasons why most women "give up" and I understand but I was determined and was NOT going to give up!

The negativity that surrounds us as new parents just amazes me.  The things that others feel they have a right to say to you about how you should raise and care for your very own baby just astounds me!  And usually those are family or close friends which is even worse.  Anyway, what those people don't know about me and most would not think, is that the more angered I become and the more I am told why not to do something, I will try that much harder to do it.  I guess it kind of backfired in a way considering Sofia NEVER wanted anything but to nurse.  EVER.  No bottles, notta.  She has been with Mama for almost two years now and therefore my life revolves around feeding and comforting.  It has been glorious and what I know my job is as her Mama and I could not feel better about it.  But, she will be two in June and I am ready for us both to start a new chapter.  I am not ready for the tears (from both of us!).  I am not ready to stop holding her in a newborn position in my arms.  I am not ready for my baby to grow up.  But I know it is time.

she has always rubbed her tiny ears when she nurses

I know that for the few people I know personally who have been on this journey as long as I have there are so many out there who HAVE been on it and who understand my pain.  I devote my entire life to this child of mine now and I would not have it any other way.  She is the gift God gave J.R. and I.  Having a child is something so many people take for granted.  They are only little for such a short period of time in their lives and that is when we should be there for them the most until the day comes to let go and watch what we have done for them over the years do it's magic!  

So, I am not sure where I go from here today but I know things will be changing soon and I am admitting sadness.  I love my little Rosebud and this is our thing we have together.  I know someone out there understands, and I know that the main someone I need to turn to is God.  With Him we can get through anything!

January...

So I guess like most folks in January, we have been settling down from the holidays and getting things back together around here.  All the Christmas decor is down and new toys have taken place of old ones (baby ones...sniff) and the goal at the present time is making our home warm and cozy and full of fun things to occupy a little one inside since the weather outside rarely permits entertaining outdoors.  It's probably what I miss most about Spring, Summer, and Fall.  It's a difficult yet challenging task to find things to do with a little gal during these cold and wet months.  Fun though because it makes me use my Mama brain to find new adventures for us!

I recently enrolled Sofia in a Music with Mommie class here in the Boro every Tuesday morning and she is loving it!  She is shy in the beginning but a few minutes into class and sister is dancing right along with all the old pros in the class!  I mainly wanted something new and exciting for her, yet educational, and a way for her to be around other babes her age and close to.  Mission accomplished!

We have also been doing a lot of kitchen playing, puzzles, and books and play dough art projects.  She really likes to pretend which is so fun!  It's wonderful to see her very own little personality coming out and envisioning the little girl she is becoming.  Dance parties are another one of her favorites :)  Turn on Pandora and let her loose!

Not a whole lot going on to report other than our day to day happenings.  I still pinch myself now and then at the realization that SHE is OURS and how very thankful I am to have the opportunity to stay home with her.  J.R. has become the husband and father I always knew he would ROCK at !!!  He takes care of us and provides for our family and the one and only God above is to thank for that :)

I hope you all are having a wonderful New Year yourselves!  J.R. and myself have had several goals for the year and I am looking forward to attacking and meeting all of them!!!!

Happy Tuesday!